urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:alaskanloverboy alaskanloverboy alaskanloverboy 2007-10-21T23:03:37Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:alaskanloverboy:1684 2007-10-21T23:03:37Z 2007-10-21T23:03:37Z ii.<br /><br />be viciuous, malicious, cruel and faithful. no one needs another yes man around. be there for them at that time when they need someone. they shouldn't have to ask. true friends share a connection, a connection that cannot be described. it spans time and space. two or more persons with the same ideals. same drive and ultimately looking for the same end. it's an almost empathatic link described by mothers or twins. it is love. in a way. you risk. you open yourself to a former stranger. you need to. for a relationship to strive you need comfort and trust. be naked and they will be naked in return. protect their nakedness, as they do yours. keep their secrets. keep them maliciously. you may lose psuedo friends but it's worth it. at that samed regard, don't test them. you should never put your friends in a aituatiion to chose. if that comes up fine. keep true to the person they became friends with. do not expect them to be loyal to someone they didn't become friends. you'll only tarnish a beautiful thing. a true friend will grow as you grow. keeping true to their doctrine. as you both grow you can be separated. split apart and sent to opposite corners of the map. in a split second though, you can be see them and it's as if you never left. the music didn't stop. it has continued and will continue until a bitter end is reached. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:alaskanloverboy:1525 2007-10-13T06:12:36Z 2007-10-13T06:12:36Z good charlotte-emotionless urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:alaskanloverboy:1035 2007-09-24T00:10:03Z 2007-09-24T00:10:03Z i.love<br />ii.friends<br />iii.money<br />iv.relationships<br />v.how to deal<br /><br /><br />love.<br />something that cannot really be defined by one person. for some it's money, lust, sex, companionship, friendship, fullness and sometimes emptiness. i'm sure everyone understands it in their own way. i think love is incredible. not always good but, nevertheless i am always left feeling wonderstruck by it. love can move mountains. it can build bridges. love can murder and love can bring life. i have been in love on three occasions. love for me is still hard to define, but lately i have decided what i want love to be the next go around. love for me; it changes you. it's meeting someone and feeling like you're floating on air. it's being dead tired but not wanting to fall asleep cause you don't want to part. i have given up oppurtunities for love. the last time i was in love... so complicated. still not over it completely. i stretched myself beyond myself. she may have never known but that's how i felt. i felt like it was never enough. i tried. god knows i tried to please her. and i knew she tried too. there are times when you're personalities don't allow you to be together though. she never forgave me for things i did. i in turn was not aways as nice as i should have been. in the end it all went to shit. now i'm here and have never been so confused about my feelings in my whole life. i love her. still. it's obvious she loves me. we know we can't be together. she's pregnant. don't know who's kid it is. what am i to do? she's "moved on." like she always does. she needs someone. she can't be alone. she can't control her emotions and it's obvoius she wants help. i am criticized for giving her my opinion. what do i do when the baby is born? what if it's mine? what if it's not? if it is i don't want someone i don't know around it but i'm not ready for a child. i understand that i cannot give this child what it needs. so do you include me in this chids life then use it against me when you don't get what you want? do you throw that in her face when she's older? does the child get caught between us fighting. does she want me in it's life. i can't exectly be there when i live here. how much do i give up for half of what could be my childs life. maybe she just wants my money. what if i don't think she's doing a good job? why would i want to give her money to raise my kid in a way i don;t think is right? but then again... what if it's not mine. i was hurt before when she stopped talking to me and then i found out she was fucking some guy. i don't know how this would make me feel. it would crush her. i know it. i would be able to move on completely though then, i know it. i really hate this. it's always eating at the back of my mind. i wish this was all a bad dream... more later